Issue 52: Gossip from the Hivemind
Welcome back to the Hive, where our scurrilous bees have been buzzing around excitedly since the election was called.
Yeah, an election got called, didn’t you hear? By the time you read this, it very well might be over and we could have a new MP, but what about the incumbent?
Yes, the lovely Anna Soubry, who stood for Broxtowe after failing to get elected in Gedling, and Ken Clarke stubbornly refusing to retire and give her Rushcliffe, meant that Beeston’s borough had to do. And lo, she said unto her electorate, sometime in 2009, “If I win, I shall descend upon Broxtowe, and make it my home, and live among my people, oh yes I will”. And the electorate duly voted for her.
Yet she remained happily housed in her big Mapperly mansion, for many years. Until lo, an election was again called, and she quickly took residence in a flat in Bramcote, and no longer just pretended to be a fellow constituent.
And then a snap election was called, and she had to give her address on the appropriate forms. And that address was… Charnwood. You know, that posh bit of Leicestershire MILES from Broxtowe. Was Anna being less than honest about her living arrangement? If so, it would probably explain why she is so keen to see fracking in Broxtowe: she’ll be happily miles away, in the unfracked, unpolluted Leicestershire countryside.
A slow handclap to Broxtowe Borough Council, and some sheer idiocy on their part. After a community wildlife reserve was set up by neighbourhood horticulture heroes WeDig NG9, on the verges where Barrydale and Wilmot meet, with full permission of said council, things looked bright. Trees were planted, a little path created, grass left to grow and create a meadow effect. A ‘bug squat’ (a series of stacked pallets and plants designed to attract insects for hedgehogs to munch on as well as helping out beleaguered bees and butterflies) was installed with great effort, totally voluntarily. Just two days later, with crushing inevitability, the council came along and mowed it all up, snapping down the trees in the process.
Why? And why is this anything different from the nasty gits who snapped the young trees in Dovecote Park earlier this year? Well, for one, the Dovecote Lane vandals didn’t need your council tax to fund their destruction. Sort it out, Broxtowe.