Motherhood in a pandemic

WELL. GUYS. What a year we are having. I hope you’re all doing ok, and I really hope you are all reading this at home with the curtains tightly closed in case that creepy neighbour walks past again and waves. If you don’t have one of those, it’s you. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

There are rainbows in windows everywhere, thanking our key workers for their brilliant efforts, and behind each one is a parent who is relieved to have a half an hour activity with their bored offspring. Homeschooling started weeks ago with an enthusiastic bang, parents with well-meaning lesson plans all sat down on that first Monday and smashed through a day of spellings and maths, with some colouring-in for balance. Now, 3 weeks into the lockdown, we rarely know where the kids are and aren’t entirely sure if we’ve fed them today. Lesson plans have been replaced with shrugs and a glass of red. Minecraft is now a STEM activity and Roblox ticks the maths box because, I dunno really, it has numbers in?

“There is a lot of talk of mental health and wellbeing around on the internet at the moment, and for people with kids who are themselves at huge risk of losing their livelihoods (HELLO!) I think it’s for the best that we don’t try to be superhuman through all of this.”

I really thought I’d be fine with homeschooling. Keeping the kid on track, not really teaching but allowing her mind to stay academically active. No. Nope. Not even slightly. Right now she’s sat in a bucket of what I suspect is rainwater, Skyping her best mate on an old phone we’ve agreed she can use and eating what looks like raw frozen chips. I’m indoors watching Bargain Hunt and writing this. We started well, but the Easter Holidays arrived and it felt a bit unfair to force her to do school work, so now every day is a Sunday afternoon and I’m not sure that time exists any more.

There is a lot of talk of mental health and wellbeing around on the internet at the moment, and for people with kids who are themselves at huge risk of losing their livelihoods (HELLO!) I think it’s for the best that we don’t try to be superhuman through all of this. Getting through each day as peacefully as possible is the most we can ask of ourselves. Feel free to learn a new skill, but also feel free not to. It turns out that ‘not having time’ was never the reason I didn’t learn to juggle or learn another language. If you want to clear out your underwear drawer, brilliant. If you want to eat ice lollies for breakfast, also brilliant! Do whatever you and your kids need to and ignore the pressure to do more. This is a pandemic, not The Real Housewives of Beeston.

DL

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