A special this issue as we write the definitive Beeston Hit Parade, as suggested by those pun-tastic contributors over on Beeston updated. We received over 450 entries to this which suggests a) You are fantastic fans of puns and music b) You really should get out more. Muggins here has had to plough through them all and select the Top 40.

It was painful. It was tough. And apologies to anyone who didn’t make it. You should be proud of yourself. We have spared the blushes of those who made it into the list by not printing their names.

Set your groan levels to 11. HERE WE GO POP-PICKERS:

40: Happy Daze Are Here Again

39: Fake Plastic Bees

38: I Wanna Greggs You Up

37: Hallams Lies Down On Broadgate

36: Beeman Rhapsody

35: Total Eclipse of the Art Shop

34: Shadab Balti Ya Face

33: Exile on Middle Street

32: Ava Marina

31: Beestonian Like You

30: Stuck in the Middle Street Resource Centre With You

29: Beeston Fields Forever

28: These Boots Were Made for Walking

27: Ain’t No Magic Mountain High Enough

26: Ticket To Rye

25: Last Post to Clarksville

24: Q M C A

23: West End girls

22: Poppa Pizza Don’t Preach

21: Wake Me Up Before You Bendigo

20: Trams Europe Express

19: Iguazu zu zu zu, (push pineapple shake the tree)

18: Like a Rylands Cowboy

17: Whilst My Guitar Spot Gently Weeps

16: Monkey Gone to HairVen

15: That’s Amores

14: Livin’ L’Oliva Loca

13: The White Lion Sleeps tonight

12: (Gonna Rock Down To) Devonshire Avenue

11: Gills Are Alive With The Sound Of Music

10: Going ‘umberroad

09: Chimera River

08: Applebee The Day

07: Charlie Fogg on the Tyne

06: My Heart Wilko On.

05: Message in a Pottle

04: Rylands in the Stream

03: Nothing Compares to Meat 4U

02: 24 Hours From Toton

01: 99 Problems (and a shoe shop ain’t one)

A special mention to Tim Furnish, who we rewrote the whole the Dandy Warhols ‘Bohemian Like You’ into ‘Beestonian Like You’ with full lyrics. He should be very proud/ashamed of himself.